RSS
 

Posts Tagged ‘communication’

How Do You Treat Your Competitors?

01 Aug

Recently  I attended a cable function. This means you have cable operators and programmers, like me, mill around networking and enjoying themselves.

I was reconnecting with a gent who works for an operator in my old stomping grounds when my competition interrupted our conversation.

Ohhhkkaaay

It sometimes happens, but it could have been done better. And I KNOW this person, like we run into each other at these functions for the past seven years. COME ON.

I’ll just stand here, awkwardly, while you finish your conversation.

But then I don’t really like standing around awkwardly – who does? So when there was a pause, I smiled and asked about a former co-worker and how that person was doing in their new gig.

Stone cold glare.

Ouch.

Obviously she didn’t want to answer.

So I made light of it and said what a nice person that former employee was and that I’m sure she’s doing great in her new position…at a company twice your size.

She just mumbled and shook her head that they don’t talk. So I got the idea the parting was not sweet sorrow.

After THAT awkward mini-conversation, the gent I was connecting with decided to toddle off and my competition followed him.

I looked to my colleague next to me and we both said, “Wow.” That conversation was cold, rude and just plain weird.

But did it really have to be?

The purpose of networking events is to network - even with your competition! Photo by GreenTech Media

Look, you don’t have to love your competition or the people that work for it, but we are all human, and we all needs jobs and we all have families to care for. I wish our competition the very best and OF COURSE we will see each other in circles and we SHOULD be civil to one another. If you are not, your clients will immediately see the discourse and start passing along info like, “Did you see how so and so acted toward so-and-so?”

When asked about my competition, I always strive to speak kindly of them, and then steer the conversation toward my company. And at events, I try to say “Hello,” because it’s like that elephant in the room. After you break the ice, you always feel better.

Is it difficult to think this way about a competitor? Sure it is. But most times, those people are just taking directives from those above them. If you show them kindness and that you really aren’t that bad, they may warm up to you as well.

 

 

 
2 Comments

Posted in Blog

 

What’s Your EQ?

03 Jun

I recently attended a week-long conference for WICT (Women in Cable Telecommunications) and one of the topics we are discussing is EQ or emotional intelligence. Have you heard of it before? Let me break it down for you:

EQ = Emotional intelligence. That innate ability to read people while analyzing their next move. Or you easily adapt to other people’s styles in order to make them feel more comfortable to further your mutual goals.

I would guess most PR people, like me, have strong EQ’s. Reading people is second nature – you are constantly trying to dissect if what is coming out of their mouth matches their body language. If it doesn’t, red flags abound.

EQ tells you when to push for something and when to let go. When to propose an idea, or when its not good time. Some researchers call it “Versatility,” as in this group, Tracom. Tracom created a unique human behavior study called “Social Styles.” I won’t get into what Social Styles are all about, but if you want to learn more, go here.

If Only it Were That Simple. Photo by Joe Shlabotnik

Both Versatility and EQ have nothing to do with changing yourself to please others – but instead its about adapting to your surroundings in order to have the most successful, effective outcome. For example, if you are an exurberant, hand-gesturing, fast-talking person like me, and you are in a business meeting with several analytical people whose style is the complete opposite, then you would slow your speech, keep your gestures in check and calm your body.  You probably do this already and don’t even know it. We immediately adapt to our current environment. Subconsciously, by slowing my speech and showing a calm manner, I’m putting my analytical guests at ease, which hopefully would yield better results from our meeting.

So how can you increase your Versatility or EQ?

  • learn to read others more effectively – this means pay attention and stop focusing on yourself so much!
  • know yourself – realize your personality quirks – are you a fast-talker? Show lots of energy?
  • check for non-verbal feedback – crossed arms? blank stares? You know what those mean

To learn more about EQ and Versatility, check out Tracom’s white paper: http://docs.tracomcorp.com/TPD/Whitepaper/Comparing_Versatility_to_Emotional_Intelligence.pdf

And this book by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, Why it Can Matter More than IQ

 
2 Comments

Posted in Blog

 

Communication & Your Audience’s Perceptions

23 Nov

Crossing the parking lot to church last Sunday my husband asked if I wanted to enter via the front, or the back of the church. As we approached the side door, I said the front and kept walking. He stopped and said “ohhkay” and shrugged his shoulders. Giving him a quizzical look, I realized his “front” meant the inside “front,” as in the alter area, which we can enter through a side door located IN THE BACK. Versus my front meant the true front of the church, facing the street, which is entering the main room from the back.

Confusing? It’s a lack of understanding your audience’s point of view. It happens quite a bit and if I were a psychologist I would assume its why most couples argue.

I was laughing on my way into church because I realized how we each had our own ideas of what we meant. We were completely off-base with the other person. (And we each thought we were perfectly right.)

Maybe we should all communicate the way Jazz musicians do...

No wonder communication is difficult. Not only are you trying to string together thoughts that make sense, but you also have to consider your audience’s comprehension of your thoughts and their preconceived perceptions.

Hundreds of PR and marketing books are out there on this subject, but my real-life example brings to light how much I need consider my audience. When writing press releases for Sportsman Channel, I write at an eight-grade level. I attempt a little SEO action, and I make sure our point is clear.

But is it really clear? I’ve written sentences that make perfect sense to me only to have a co-worker tell me three days later that they interpreted it differently. After re-reading the sentence five times, I finally got it.

Comma usage is a big culprit – as pointed out in the book “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss. The misuse of commas can completely change the meaning of a sentence. But I think the real issue is being concise in your writing and stop being so lazy! I tend to write lengthy sentences that could probably be shortened by deleting words or making two sentences. Like that sentence. The words “tend” and “probably” are adding nothing to the meaning of the sentence.

Fast forward on that same Sunday to the evening. Hubby and I were sitting on the couch watching a TV clip of a pee-wee football game. I asked hubby “Is that a little football?” Meaning, is that football the pee-wee is carrying a smaller version of the NFL football? He interpreted “a little football” as in the size of the football team itself, not specifically the size of the ball, and told me it was a dumb question. I was offended and said no questions were dumb and so forth until we realized we were talking about two different things. Again.

Man, we were not jiving on Sunday.

But it was my delivery of the message that was not jiving. I should been more specific (and not lazy) and asked “Is the football they are carrying smaller than the NFL version?” That’s to the point and concise.

As for the church thing, pointing and sign language probably would have yielded better results than actual talking.

Photo credit: Adhi Rachdian

 
5 Comments

Posted in Blog